Retirement: What happens after the farewell speech and gold watch gift
I was speaking to this lady in her mid 50s the other day about her retirement plans.
“Retirement, what retirement?” she snorted.
No, sir-she was launching herself into a new home based business after spending a better part of 30 years as a cog in the wheel of a giant multi national corporation.
The first thing that struck me was that her attitude of “let’s get going on something new” as opposed to some people who view retirement as buying a one way ticket to the morgue.
What a refreshing way to see the rest of her life as one filled with new possibilities and potential.
But, with a bit more conversation, I picked up on the language she was using. Most people would not notice this however, she spoke of success in her new business in terms of “if I get x number of clients” rather than “when I have x number of clients”.
Subtle but this is the difference between growing a successful business and crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
I asked if she’d ever read the book “Prince Charming Isn’t Coming” by Barbara Stanny. There is this funny/ironic line where it states that a man is no financial plan.
That raised a wry smile from this recent retiree.
Barbara in this book asks you to examine your beliefs about money and here was a classic case of a woman who had modeled her money beliefs on her upbringing.
No prizes for guessing that her father had controlled the finances and by default controlled the family. Women were left out of the decision making process and that had adversely impacted her general view of life and relationships.
The good news is that it is not too late to review and revise your view of handling money, but this time from an emotional perspective.
Your emotions will either help or hinder (read self sabotage) your efforts at building a thriving and successful business.
I have included a short list of 5 books that are educational (without being dry and hard going) and inspirational.
Remember, you can do a lot more good for your family, friends, church and community when you are wealthy. It is not a sin nor is it a crime to be prosperous.
1. Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, Barbara Stanny (Penguin Books)
2. Secrets of Six Figure Women, Barbara Stanny (Harper Collins)
3. Millionaire Women Next Door Thomas J. Stanley (Andrews McMeel Publishing)
4. Rich Woman (Because I Hate Being Told What To Do) Kim Kiyosaki (Rich Press)
5. Aspire (Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words) Kevin Hall (William Morrow Press)
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Financial Freedom, Mindset and You Part 4
Financial Freedom Mindset and You Recapping Part 3
(Parts 1-3 were titled, “You and Your Money”)
I described a real situation where a young Australian couple realized that it was their old mindset that had prevented them from accepting that they could become wealthy by receiving passive income. When the penny dropped, they quickly found a technique to smash past that obstacle and today are millionaires and are continuing to grow their multi million dollar business.
We have all heard of affirmations. Pick up any self development book that line the shelves of your bookstore and you can bet that there is at least a chapter devoted to this topic.
In essence, these are short positive sentences stated in the present tense, that when repeated daily are designed to bring about change for the better in your life.
Well, if this is so easy to do, why aren’t more people using affirmations to become happier, healthier, wealthier individuals?
When you are instructed to spring out of bed first thing in the morning with unbridled enthusiasm, and told to recite, “I am making $100, 000 a year” (when you are currently earning $30, 000 per annum), a little voice in your head says “Dream on, buddy. What makes you think you can make $100, 000?”
Herein lies the rub: Your thoughts and feelings determine your actions and your actions repeated become habits. In turn your habits drive your daily activities, which determine your results (in every facet of your life).
The key here is how you see yourself.
Remember, you cannot outperform your self image.
If you think and feel (that is the operative phrase) that you do not deserve something in life, then you will not get it. This is despite your conscious mind saying that you do want to do well in your career, life, relationship etc.
The analogy I use is that of a ship with sails (conscious mind) that has dropped anchor (subconscious mind).
If both conscious and subconscious minds are not in harmony or in sync, all the effort and good intentions (think wind in your sails=conscious mind) will not get you from where you are presently to where you want to be simply because you are still anchored (sub conscious mind) to the spot.
The programming you picked up well before you turned 7 is the basis for the behaviors that still drives you today. In other words, a 7 year old runs your life, and this may explain why you do the things you as an adult do today that might not be too helpful in achieving your life goals.
So, back to the couple I mentioned in Part 3, or more specifically the husband who we shall call Andrew.
Andrew, as a child broke his arm whilst playing on the monkey bars in a park, after being told not to (which kid does as he is told?). He then found himself in the hospital corridor waiting to be examined by a doctor.
In his impressionable young mind he saw the doctors and nurses who hurried by as people who were obviously intelligent, and remote. They were formidable and daunting figures to a young child who was also in a great deal of pain.
Andrew made the association that he wasn’t bright compared to these people. He then proceeded to prove that by failing his high school exams.
His circumstances changed when he met Paul and Mary Blackburn, founders of Beyond Success, a personal development company.
Through a 20 minute exercise and meditation, Andrew took himself back to that point in time, as a frightened distressed child in a hospital, and re scripted his experience of the event to one which was positive and calming.
The change in his self image was startling, as Andrew then went on to law school and completed his degree with distinctions.
Similarly, when Andrew and his wife were not making headway with their goal of becoming financially independent, they applied this exercise to identify the obstacle that was in their path to realizing their dream.
They made the paradigm shift from having to toil for money and that making money demanded hard graft, to being okay with receiving income passively. It was as simple as that.
Please contact me for more details regarding this exercise and meditation.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Not Settling for Second Best
“ Very few people are going after what they truly want in life. Most people settle for what they think they can get.”- Bob Proctor
I felt sad when I read Bob’s observation of the human condition. It said to me that there are an inordinate number of people telling themselves that it is okay to settle for second best.
You did not come into this world to be second best- in my previous 15 years in science with 10 years as a medical scientist I can tell you that during the 38 or so weeks required to assemble you from the ground up, (at the molecular level from bits of DNA from your biological parents), a MILLION things could have gone wrong.
From not being up to scratch (hence having the plug pulled in utero) to not making it into this world with all your fingers, toes and faculties intact.
But here you are, a living, breathing, sentient being perfect in every way BUT only just getting by?
It is not exactly what was intended for you, was it now?
So my question to you is why are you not performing at 100 % and getting what you truly want in life.
Did somebody veto your plans, did they tell you that you can’t and didn’t it ever occur to you to ask, “Why not, why can’t I have what I truly want?”
And here’s the clincher, when they gravely (but with a whiff of triumph) intoned their pronouncement as to why, did you have to accept their explanation?
It’s your life and you can do whatever you like.
That includes ignoring the pessimists the naysayers, the glum people who can suck the oxygen out of a room simply by being around you.
So, think of the creative ways you can stand up for yourself, take control and go after what you truly want in life.
Yes, you will create waves and upset some people along the way, but given the choice would you rather have your spirit languish for the sake of “not making a fuss” or do you want to stand tall and claim your right to a place in the sun.
Here’s Vanessa Amorosi’s song “This is who I am” for a dose of defiance and perhaps you may want to use it as your anthem for the next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEZf6gLnL3c
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
The Art of Giving and Receiving a Compliment
I was recently speaking to a colleague and in the course of conversation complimented her hairstyle and how the new color and cut really suited her. She was positively beaming.
So, the rest of this post is about two things:
1) Why you or I would give someone a compliment, and
2) How the other person interprets and then responds to this gesture
Firstly, we all enjoy and thrive on positive interactions-it is certainly much more pleasant, triggers our feel good brain chemicals (endorphins) and puts a smile on our faces long after we’ve gone our separate ways.
Said from the heart and from a place of love, it enriches you as much as the person on the receiving end of this random act of kindness.
The “art” of giving a compliment is to spring it on the unsuspecting, catching them unawares. From your perspective, this is not done because you are angling for a reciprocal compliment. In this instance, it’s not all about you, it’s about them! Give without the thought of getting anything in return is what I am saying here.
Secondly, people are not stupid and will sense if the compliment is genuine (and not an attempt to “butter up” the recipient). We can all sniff out a phoney, some one with an ulterior motive or hidden agenda.
When you are on the receiving end of a compliment, note how you respond. Do you stammer, blush and try and play it down, or do you say a gracious thank you because you are comfortable in your own skin, and can accept the praise or kind words unreservedly.
By the way, your response is an indication of how you feel about yourself.
The “art” of receiving a compliment is to say to yourself, “Yes, I do deserve the praise, compliment etc”. So, when the inner critic asks why is it that you are deserving, have this reply ready. Say, “Because I just do”.
“In the event of a sudden loss in cabin pressure…”
The flight attendant is standing in the aisle giving us the low down on what to do should some of us ever find ourselves in this particular situation when flying.
It is a life saver demonstration.
We know it is important to pay attention to her instructions as the plane is still taxiing on the runway but somehow getting out our magazines or novel and making ourselves comfortable for the long trip is a higher priority.
We half listen to the part where she says, “…place the oxygen mask over your face before attending to infants, small children….”.
Unknowingly, she has just given you the best piece of advice for catapulting the quality of your relationships, business and life in general from ok or average to being stratospheric (pardon the pun but we are using the flying analogy here).
What does she mean?
Until you remove the sub conscious blockages usually of feeling guilty about increasing your earning capacity, or feeling threatened and uncomfortable when relating to people at an honest, loving and deeper level, your goals and aspirations will remain frustratingly out of reach.
As much as you are moved to help others when you see them in distress, about to be evicted from their home or needing emotional support, there will not be enough to draw from (your own store to share) until you first help yourself.
This is where we meet a lot of resistance, because we’ve been told it is selfish to put ourselves ahead of others.
Or is it?
I challenge you to toss out this well meaning but erroneous preconceived idea that was programed into our subconscious without our permission when we were young and impressionable.
Who’s idea was it anyway? Here’s a clue: it wasn’t yours!
Below is a vastly different take on this matter:
“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Letting Go
“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies”-Dr John F DeMartini
Think back to the last time you felt ignored, insulted, offended, ostracized, humiliated, criticized, denigrated, bullied, blamed, suffered a public put down, and the list goes on…(a Thesaurus is a handy thing!)
If you are a sharp wit and can think quickly on your feet, you might have a great come back. However, the rest of us tend to have our killer line and retort ready long after the event and when your tormentor is halfway into the next county. Don’t you hate it when that happens?
In our heads we have a replay button stuck on the same audio and video track, going through that event over and over again. With time, it is embellished with even more negativity and it starts to take on a life of its own.
“What to do” you ask yourself, still fuming. In the safety of your head, you plot or there is the other tack where you can say “You gotta turn the other cheek and forgive”.
I don’t know about you but I am not interested in long term penitentiary stays, nor am I a saint so the cheek turning business gets a bit tiresome after a while.
However, it is for your own sake to break the cycle, otherwise as Dr DeMartini has aptly put, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies”.
I like practical solutions.
Therefore you need to put Plan A into action i.e., dissipate the physical anger (see my previous post on Anger Management 101); second, get your head to talk to your heart about this negative situation.
Ask yourself how much of it was because of your own interpretation of how the event unfolded. Remember you cannot feel insulted, embarrassed or small unless YOU ALLOW it. How to overcome this?
Work on improving your self esteem.
Write a letter addressed to that person about what you want to say (give yourself permission to let ‘er rip!) and then burn it. This is symbolic of severing the tie that binds you to that person because whether we like it or not, when we do not let go, we are still attached to that person (yuck!).
Make better use of the energy that God has given us, put it to better use like spending time with people we like or working on increasing the value of our businesses.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Why You Really Need To Work On It If You Want to Achieve Your Dreams & Goals
Would I be right to say that each and everyone has a burning desire to succeed, achieve a number of goals, become better wives, mothers, local and global citizens etc.
You want to create wealth, have radiantly good health and happiness and in doing so, be in the position to give back to the community by the truckload.
We may have arrived at this point directly or perhaps via a more circuitous path.
Whichever the case, we are now here.
Some days your goals and grand visions are so clear you can taste, touch, smell and feel it. It makes your heart beat just a bit faster, and the sense of anticipation and excitements makes you want to jump up and down with glee.
Other times, it feels like a bit of a pipe dream and the naysayers (including the harsh internal critic) have a field day picking apart your precious dreams.
Question: So how do you keep going in the face of adversity and whilst you are paused to take a breath when you are in one of those “pushing the proverbial uphill” days?
Answer: See subject heading. I have included an inspirational missive from Brain Tracy. It certainly keeps me going when obstacles (which are really opportunities in disguise) pop up. Enjoy and be re-inspired.
“The most important Million Dollar Habit you can develop is the habit of deliberately building your own self-esteem and self-confidence on a daily basis.
The more you feed your mind with positive words, pictures, and thoughts, the more positive, confident, optimistic and unafraid you become.
The more you like yourself, the better you do at anything you attempt.
The more you like yourself, the less you fear failure and rejection.
The more you like yourself, the less you worry about short-term setbacks and obstacles.
The more you like yourself, the greater courage and resilience you will have to face the inevitable ups and downs of life.
And the more you like yourself, the more it is that you will persist until you succeed.
Self-esteem is everything”. Brian Tracy