Owning Up and Learning from My Mistakes
Our education system does not encourage us to admit our errors and effectively punishes us when we get it wrong.
This is reinforced by the assessment strategy of grading us down in tests and formal examinations when we do not produce the “right’ answers.
The system is designed to turn out cookie cutter lookalikes with not a whit of individuality.
It stymies creativity, inventiveness and discourages exploration; in effect we get a slap on the wrist every time we colour outside the lines.
So does the title of this article stir up a bit of discomfort?
I certainly hope so, only because I want you to challenge conventional thinking and behaviour.
What if, for a change, we celebrated instead of shaming kids in grade school for giving the incorrect answer?
Rather than making them feel like a failure we gave them elephant stamps and gold stars for having a go, for attempting an answer.
Brian Tracy, one of my favourite motivational speakers and amazing business coach said it best:
Learning from your mistakes is an essential skill that enables you to develop the resilience to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
The person who recognizes that he has made a mistake and changes direction the fastest is the one who will win in an age of increasing information, technology and competition.
By remaining fast on your feet, you will be able to out-play and out-position your competition.
You will become a creator of circumstances rather than a creature of circumstances.
In other words: Adaptability is the name of the game.
In every episode of Star Trek Dr Spock may have said, “Live long and prosper”, but Dr Tan says “Live smart and prosper”.
So, the faster you fail, the quicker you get to your goals.
You might as well get through it sooner than later because that lets you gain momentum as you hurtle towards success.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
10 Tips to Staying Motivated: Especially When You Don’t Feel Like It
Motivation is like a shower, you need one everyday-Zig Zaglar
Firstly it would be unrealistic to feel pumped all the time, so don’t be hard on yourself if you have the odd day when you feel really flat. Here are 10 suggestions to get you to re focus. Go get ‘em!
An update to this post: I have included an mp3 recording
Click here to listen:Audio recording of 10 Tips to Staying Motivated
1. Remind yourself again what it is that you are striving to achieve.
• Is it a physical fitness goal of wanting to run a personal best in the Boston marathon or being financially independent in 5 years
• Either way, are your goals written down for you to review and read as often as it is necessary
2. Portion control
• You can eat an entire elephant by yourself if it is only one bite at a time. So chunk it down to manageable portions that are achievable in days and weeks rather than months and years!
3. Do a stock take of where you were 3, 6 and 12 months ago relative to where you are now
• Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. It’s a win, don’t get too precious about it
• Keep a journal and record your progress. You will be surprised at how far you have come
4. Practise mental rehearsal of having reached your goal
• Make it as real as possible by imagining what you are wearing, who is with you, whereabouts is this taking place, does it have a particular smell. Above all, tap into the feeling of having aced the goal and remind yourself of that winning feeling by clicking your finger 3 times in succession.
• Do this daily even when you don’t feel like it, especially when you don’t feel like it
5. What are you eating, when do you exercise
• Remember the old computer programming term GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out). If you are fuelling your body with junk food, you will not have the energy and stamina to get to your goals. This is a non negotiable fact of getting where you want to go and what you want from life
• Yes, your body is a temple. Worship it with fresh food, vegetables, and lots of water. Ditch the refined carbs and trans fats, they clog your arteries and reduces blood and oxygen flow to your brain. Lord knows you need all your neurons to fire if you want to be able to think clearly.
• Physical fitness is not an option. Again it is one of those things you just do to stay alert and healthy to be able to enjoy your successes when they come. Being in an iron lung and a millionaire is kind of bittersweet
6. Oh brother where art thou; who do you hanging out with
• Are these people supportive or do they make it a sport of taking potshots at your dreams and goals; if they are in the latter category, say bye-bye and leave them to wallow in their own pity party
• Create a mastermind support group. These are people on the same wavelength who will not ridicule your goals, dreams and aspirations but instead cheer you on. You can learn from them and vice versa
• If this type of support is thin on the ground, consider hiring a business/life/fitness coach to keep you accountable. Yes, it costs money so think of it as an investment in yourself. “You’re worth it” as the Revlon ad goes.
7. What are you reading, watching on television
• I am a big fan of reading motivational books by Jim Rohn, T Harv Eker, Bob Proctor and the cool thing is that there are lots of free mp3 downloads you can listen to in your car or as I like to call it “your university on wheels”.
• Stop watching the news. If it is really important, somebody will tell you. Notice how television only reports bad news; that is because bad news sells.
8. When do you stay still-meditate daily
• This is about staying healthy on the inside
• Often the solutions to business problems or obstacles at work are found when we shut up and stay still long enough for our sub conscious to present us with an answer.
• Don’t be skeptical if you haven’t tried it for at least a month
9. When did you last do a budget and track your expenditure and earnings
• It is vital not to shy away from tracking your finances. How then will you know that you have made progress in putting aside money for investments and passive income building? Answer me that?
10. Get in sync with your internal clock
• If you are a night owl and your best ideas come to mind after 10pm, ask yourself why are you flogging your body to be up at 5am to be inspired and creative on your projects. It does not make sense, so stop it!
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Endometriosis and the Career Driven Women
Below is an article by Melissa Meyer of www.cureendometriosis.com
Melissa has written a personal blog about endometriosis and her own research and discovery on healing.
I am sure most women can relate, so if you are interested in finding out more, drop by Melissa’s site for a read.
Endometriosis affects 1 in 7 women around the world and this number is sadly on a steady increase. The condition affects women of all ages and many women only discover they have the condition once they slow down and wish to conceive a child. It affects a woman’s fertility and this can be the very first obvious symptom.
Endometriosis is formed when retrograde cells are found within the uterus that grow and form adhesions. It is these cells that can cause damage to fallopian tubes and ovaries and thereby inhibit pregnancy.
As the condition is more prevalent in women in their late 20’s it is often associated as a “career women’s disease”.
Women who have endometriosis seem to possess personality traits which fall into strong, driven and perfectionism traits, which has created the link between the “career women’s disease” and endometriosis.
Though these traits appear on the surface to reflect a determined and confident personality, the driving force behind these traits needs to be carefully reassessed. Many women with endometriosis actually suffer from a constant need to be better than who they currently are.
They are driven to constantly improve who they are and be more than what they can be. Although this trait can be positive in certain individuals, too much of this drive can create unnecessary physical and emotional stress.
The motives for being more and driving oneself further often relate to a poor self-image or a need to be perfect. Endometriosis has been closely linked to a thought pattern referred to as “Timeous Perfectionism”.
Essentially the drive is to do a job perfectly and quickly at the same time. It is this constant pressure to perform and do more, in a shorter space of time at the highest standard that ultimately creates an incredible stress inside of the body. Endometriosis sufferers have been recognized to possess this thinking pattern and the connection between time and perfectionism is even more prevalent in certain job roles.
It is also this perfectionism that is unfulfilling and never ending. Achievements are not valued within themselves and they are constantly seeking more. They are often self critical and unrewarding towards their own achievements and seek approval from others.
It is important to acknowledge and accept these traits within oneself early so we can recognize them when we think and act on them and learn to slow down and recognize the emotion attached to the stress event. The more we can recognize our repeated traits, the easier our healing process will be.
Happiness begins when one can accept oneself and love oneself regardless of achievements. Acknowledgement for what one has achieved is also a very important step and would also provide additional self-esteem. We seldom give ourselves true reward for the things we have achieved in life.
It is only through acknowledgement and self love that true healing and happiness and really occur.
Women Executives: Leadership Role Models (Part 3)
If my 2 previous posts have seemed less than optimistic, let me assure you that there is hope (for us all!).
Below is an article by Professor Ginka Toegel the Director of Strategies for Leadership Program, International Institute of Management Development, Switzerland.
Companies are not setting themselves these targets out of some generalized notion of equality but because there is a strong business case for them to do so.
There has been a great deal of research in this area that suggests the value of having gender diverse management teams.
For example, companies that have more than three women in management positions tend to have better return on equity and assets than do those with fewer women.
They also tend to score higher on organizational effectiveness criteria. Equally, women board members tend to be very well-prepared for meetings, which raises the benchmark for others.
This subsequently leads to better discussions, and better decisions.
So, there is a clear business case for companies hiring and promoting more senior women. But what is life like for the women who are already in these roles?
When we have less than 15 percent of a minority in a social category, we talk about tokens.
And anyone who is in that position is likely to be under a huge amount of pressure, as they are highly visible, and frequently will feel that they represent not just themselves, but their entire category.
At 25 percent – in many companies this is currently the target – they are still in a minority, but they are no longer tokens.
The tipping point is 35 percent: once we reach this level, visibility becomes less of an issue and women’s identity as women becomes less salient.
Past this point, when women speak, they are heard as individuals with their own separate backgrounds, values and personalities, not as “the woman”.
Her opinions and views are not reduced to her gender.
The problem at the moment is that we have so few senior women in management positions that they are perceived as outsiders.
This creates a kind of legitimacy gap, in that they do not fit the (male) stereotype of what it is to be a leader.
This leads in turn to another problem, which is that male leaders tend to be associated with “agentic” behavior: they are more likely to be proactive, assertive, dominant, in control of the situation.
Female leaders, by contrast, show what we call “communal values”: friendliness, support, warmth and a caring attitude.
When we look at these two sets of values, it becomes clear that it is the agentic approach that we associate with leadership.
Many women come to the conclusion that, as a result of these stereotypes, the only way for them to be perceived to be legitimate leaders is to emulate male leaders.
However, the real answer is not so straightforward.
If women simply emulate men, they violate the gender stereotype, which creates a perception that they are being phony.
This creates a real problem, and can lead to them being penalized for being inauthentic leaders.
Women should instead blend both sets of characteristics.
Indra Nooyi, the Chief Executive and Chairwoman of PepsiCo, does this very successfully; she can make tough decisions and is very assertive in negotiations, but her direct reports also describe her as extremely warm and caring.
What then of the future? Well, despite the disappointing statistics there are many good reasons to be positive.
The next 5 to 10 years will see a dramatic change for the better.
Women managers can contribute to this by understanding that there are certain expectations related to organizational leadership, and developing their skills accordingly.
Women Executives: Leadership Role Models (Part 1)
If you think 21st century women have it made as top flight executives, Chief Executive Officers and the ultimate holy grail of governance as Chairman of the Board of a multi national corporation, think again.
Male captains of industry have been fortunate to have so many outstanding male examples to model as they ascend the corporate ladder. In fact there is an embarrassment of riches with regards to asking and getting a strong and positive mentor to help them grow and develop into the top job.
The same cannot be said for females. Women executives in leadership positions are few and far in between according to some statistics I uncovered.
A 2008 Australian Census of Women in Leadership published by the Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Agency found that the number of women on boards and executive management of Australia’s top 200 ASX (Australian Stock Exchange) companies could be counted on fingers on one hand (with one digit to spare).
The percentage of women as Chairman and CEOs were 4 of 200 (2.0%) in each category; board of directors numbered 125 of 1504 (8.3%).
There was no female on the board of directors in 51 % of these ASX 200 listed companies.
Because we see more women in business suits today (than say in the 1950s) there is an assumption that they must occupy executive management positions. The reality is that there are more women in middle management positions in human resources, finance, medical and health administration, and real estate and property businesses today than any other time.
However, at the pointy end i.e., top management where the real game is played, women are under represented.
In 2010, only 2.8 percent of Fortune 500 chief executives were female.
I believe that sisters need to do it for themselves.
Specifically they need strong, smart and compassionate female role models to help them navigate their way through the management maze.
How will they do this? I will discuss some strategies in my next post.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Book Review-7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness
A timeless classic by Jim Rohn a motivator extraordinaire, that is written in an easy reading style for anyone who has had enough of being average (read beige) and wants a better life.
This includes health, material success and most importantly a deeply satisfying sense of contentment.
Click here to listen Book Review-7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness
or read on
Jim Rohn’s own journey started when at the age of 25 he met his mentor Earl Schoaff who asked him the uncomfortable question of where his life was headed.
To his credit, Rohn replied with an honest “No where” and that was the start of the years of learning everything he could from his mentor.
He has distilled his years of experience into the seven strategies of goal setting, being a sponge and soaking it up, having the determination to change and forming new habits, staying on top of your spending, making time a priority, seeking out like minded associates and learning the art of living well.
These strategies if faithfully applied are your keys to a magnificent life.
Goodbye Corporate World, Hello My Own Heart Centered Successful Business
Hello all
I had the pleasure of interviewing Blanca Vergara sometime ago. Her story is inspiring, and I hope it will give you that little push to take action and change the course of your life.
Enjoy the read and click on the live link at the end to hear her truth.
Blanca Vergara had it all- the power, prestige, a plum executive management position in one of Europe’s leading companies. But that was not enough and eventually she broke free of the golden handcuffs to start her own executive business performance consultancy.
She listened to her internal wisdom, one that manifested spectacularly as a vivid dream, so startling that in her own words, she ‘jumped out of bed to write this vision down”.
Having found her authentic self Blanca’s business underwent an extraordinary growth, as her perfect clients began beating a path to her door.
Today she coaches people who recognize that they want more in their lives and have up until now been trading their life force for a paycheck.
Her clients are people who want to follow their passion and purpose and make a meaningful contribution to this world.
She guides and leads them in this transition process where their souls are enriched as they do what really moves their heart whilst giving them the practical marketing, positioning and business tools to not only survive but thrive in their chosen business niche.
If you a budding heart centered entrepreneur who is ready for the next step, this is a sign to connect.
Interview with Ms Blanca Vergara (unlinked)
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Letting Go
“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies”-Dr John F DeMartini
Think back to the last time you felt ignored, insulted, offended, ostracized, humiliated, criticized, denigrated, bullied, blamed, suffered a public put down, and the list goes on…(a Thesaurus is a handy thing!)
If you are a sharp wit and can think quickly on your feet, you might have a great come back. However, the rest of us tend to have our killer line and retort ready long after the event and when your tormentor is halfway into the next county. Don’t you hate it when that happens?
In our heads we have a replay button stuck on the same audio and video track, going through that event over and over again. With time, it is embellished with even more negativity and it starts to take on a life of its own.
“What to do” you ask yourself, still fuming. In the safety of your head, you plot or there is the other tack where you can say “You gotta turn the other cheek and forgive”.
I don’t know about you but I am not interested in long term penitentiary stays, nor am I a saint so the cheek turning business gets a bit tiresome after a while.
However, it is for your own sake to break the cycle, otherwise as Dr DeMartini has aptly put, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies”.
I like practical solutions.
Therefore you need to put Plan A into action i.e., dissipate the physical anger (see my previous post on Anger Management 101); second, get your head to talk to your heart about this negative situation.
Ask yourself how much of it was because of your own interpretation of how the event unfolded. Remember you cannot feel insulted, embarrassed or small unless YOU ALLOW it. How to overcome this?
Work on improving your self esteem.
Write a letter addressed to that person about what you want to say (give yourself permission to let ‘er rip!) and then burn it. This is symbolic of severing the tie that binds you to that person because whether we like it or not, when we do not let go, we are still attached to that person (yuck!).
Make better use of the energy that God has given us, put it to better use like spending time with people we like or working on increasing the value of our businesses.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness